Forbes has gone global with its newest list of the highest-paid actors, and Robert Downey Jr. takes the crown with $80 million in his pockets courtesy of movies released internationally in the year ending in June, according to Los Angeles Times. That said, there is, annoyingly, a Mrs. Robert Downey Jr. getting in the way of those who might be inspired to do some, oh, let’s call it Financially Strategic Dating.
A Mrs. Jackie Chan is keeping the list’s No. 1 performer company, along with his $50-million haul. No. 3, Vin Diesel at $47 million, might as well be married, and Bradley “No. 4” Cooper is busy blowing his $41.5 million on dinners for Irina Shayk. Seriously, who wants to compete with that?
No. 5 on the list is Adam Sandler. Who earned $41 million. And is married. And is, well, Adam Sandler. Now, before we cut to the chase, here are a few cautionary notes:
In love limbo we find Ben Affleck ($19.5 million), who’s currently divorcing Jennifer Garner, and Russell Crowe ($18 million), who might not be divorcing Danielle Spencer after all. Avoiding singlehood’s on-deck circle: Will Smith ($26 million). Just ask him. He’s NOT DIVORCING!!!!!!
We will also swipe left on single Bollywood star Salman Khan. Though he earned $33.5 million in the past year, there’s a pretty good chance that for the next five years the only place he’ll be spending it is in a prison commissary. Of course, if his appeal succeeds, we’re willing to revisit the situation.
And then there’s Liam Neeson ($19.5 million), who’s been flying solo since the 2009 death of his beloved wife of 15 years, Natasha Richardson. Gold-diggers be warned: He says he’s not hunting, so we’re not snarking. A shred of decency is among our very particular set of skills.
That said, here are the five single dudes to be found among the world’s 33 highest-paid movie stars, along with a few conversation starters should you manage to cross paths with them on Tinder:
Tom Cruise, 53 years old, $40 million. Likes Scientologists and long walks on the wing of a plane.
Leonardo DiCaprio, 40, $29 million. Likes supermodels and long walks in St. Tropez.
Jonah Hill, 31, $15 million. Likes his Oscar nomination and long walks to the craft-services table.
Ranbir Kapoor, 32, $15 million. Likes Bollywood and long walks with a woman who’s definitely not his fiancee.